i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
