4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
