tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
