Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize