I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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