but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
