I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
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