Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
