Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
