Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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