spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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