Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
