Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
