I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
