Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
