i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
