I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
