you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
