All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
