You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Randomize
