Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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