Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
