It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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