Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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