420 ftw
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you win again, gameday.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize