brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
