what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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