We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
