HIV tests are more positive than that guy
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
