I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
