history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
