would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
