I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
These tits shall not be calmed
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
