I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
