Did you just see the Batmobile???
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
