I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
