he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
