Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
