I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
