yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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