Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
