I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
