yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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