Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
