quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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