You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just had sex bonerless
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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