I heard we made out
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
