dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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