Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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