Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
