you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize