I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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