i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
