i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
