This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
