What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
