i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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