There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
