So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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