I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
